Some time has passed since I’ve sat down and blogged. It’s been quite a year, and it’s hard to believe how much I’ve changed as a human being during it. I’ll always be feisty, but I’ve evolved in the way that I’m more relaxed than I’ve ever been, calmer, more at peace. Not to say I don’t get stressed, worried, scared or intense at times, but I’m starting to learn to slow down, breathe and enjoy the little things in life. It’s so cliche, but life flies by us so fast, that stopping and truly smelling the roses is something I’m grateful to be doing.
Since my last post, I’ve undergone two more surgeries on my elbow. One to release the joint from all the scar tissue that had formed (and I’ve been informed from my surgeon, that I grow an insane amount of it) and another after my elbow re-fractured in two places after the capsule release, most likely in one of my numerous braces that I was in. January and February were tough months to be honest, because having three surgeries in ten months is taxing on the body, mind and soul. At a particular low point in January, my husband wrote me the most positive, beautiful letter that I’ve ever read. I cried, laughed, and felt hope come back as I read it. He wrote about numerous people who had overcame injuries and illnesses that seemed far worse than my shattered elbow. The one person who seemed to resonate with me was Janine Shepard. She was in a horrific accident in her 20’s and ended up writing a book called “Never Tell me Never”. I couldn’t put the book down, and I’m forever grateful to her to have the courage to share her story with others. I highly recommend it and am excited that she has a memoir coming out this fall.
I’m excited to be running again. I’m shooting for the VT 50 in the Fall, as someday, I’d love to qualify to run the VT 100. I’ve ridden it eight times on my horses, and would love to someday join the ranks of the toughest guys and chicks around. This weekend is the Pinelands Running Festival in Maine and I’m beyond excited to be running the 25k with my best friend, Julie and our 4 kiddos. My hubby and numerous running buddies will be tackling the 50!! It will truly be a beautiful day in the woods spent chatting, running, eating and enjoying each others company.
I guess if I can say anything about this past year, it would be that I’ve become more compassionate and I’m getting closer to “full circle “in my mental healing, as I’m the one encouraging others in their dark times. I really couldn’t grasp that this winter, that I could be smiling again and seeing true joy around me. Injuries are tough, especially the ones that really knock you on your ass, but they do have a way of making you tougher, more resilient, and kinder. You understand what it truly means to endure. I’m going to be kind to myself and allow my love of horses to creep back in once the fear has left, as the the Japanese Proverb says, “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows”.
I’ve been fortunate to have Egalite join our farm…he’s a beautiful, seven year old Arabian gelding. I feel a strong connection to him already, and hope he will give me the courage to ride again and dissolve my fears.
I look forward to see what the summer brings us……remember to be kind to yourself, to others and our beautiful world around us…it’s all we got.